Until sometime back, when I was ungratefully employed, all I
wanted was to ‘get away’ from my then current situation. I had a dream job
(dream for many) with a more than necessarily heavy monthly paycheck and I had
the tag of the company that I thought of as my dream company. Yes! It was a
dream come true! But well, I wasn’t happy or satisfied. I felt myself to be
corroding and metamorphosing into a zombie. All I wanted was to get away, run away. It was
as if the place was eating me from within. I was so desperate to get the hell
out of there that I would have done anything (or rather not done any work). All
I hoped and prayed was to get the hell out of there. To get the fucking hell
out of there.
Wait a sec! No not actually or exactly that. Honestly, I
literally begged my God and all the other Gods (uh, well God’s just one with
many names, but who knows which name he prefers, hence I called on almost all
that I knew) to listen to my humble requests. I pleaded for time and money. I
was burned out. Fatigued. All I cared was for ample time at hand and ample
money to get me by.
Well, finally the day came, when I was totally out of the
shackles. Out of the 9-5 jail, out of the glass prison walls. Out, wild and
free! Hell yeah! Freedom baby! Ahhh, the fresh air, green grass, blue sky,
birds chirping and the fragrant flowers. Finally out in the real world!
BLISS!!!
Basically I was out of one jail without any conviction of
going into another one. (Oops, what I mean is I was out of one company but
unlike the playing safe kind, I did not had any offer from any other company)
(Yeah, yeah! Mighty big step, leap of faith, whatever!!)
Needless to say that I had a gala time in those 2 months of
my unemployment. I did all that I wanted to do – eat, sleep, read and watch
back to back movies and soaps.
Who cared about career? Well yes I did, and I had always
been a serious career-oriented, highly ambitious type of woman, but what I
thought and what I got are totally different sides of a coin.
All I wanted was some time off, so that I could relax
without the pressure in my head or the inhibitions of the new place. I wanted
to be. Just be.
Well, but the time is ticking. I do have time at hand and I
surely do have some dough enough to keep me warm and full for some more time,
but am really bored now. Just the other day I was sorting and de-cluttering my
wardrobe when I realized, how I missed getting dressed up in the western
formals. How I miss the endless and pointless status updates and meetings where
I used to mull and ponder how would a status of a task change in merely 2-3
hours??!! Indeed, I miss playing self ‘Office Bingo’ during the conference
calls. Oh well, I miss those terribly boring and lullaby con-calls too! Of
course, I do miss huddling in front of the laptop acting as a lean mean and
kickass consultant when I was nothing more than a daily wage earner (of IT
world).
Indeed, I miss it all. The lies, the fakeness, the drama and
the dirty office dynamics (read office politics). Of course, I do hate it
still, as it is not me and nor do I want to be a part of it, and yet I miss it.
Given a chance, I will never ever walk back into the IT industry (NO, never
ever!!). And yet, here I am, getting bored. All I desire for is the lies, the drama,
the fakeness but most importantly, the monthly paychecks to fulfil my
indulgence in the pursuit of the high life.
Well, whoever said it has truly said, beware of your
desires, lest they may be fulfilled. With ample time and money, I now wonder
what to do. Anyway, need to sign out now, have few interviews to crack!
;)
IT Cinderella
